United Parenting – a gift to our children
“The greatest gift parents can give to their children is to love each other.”
(Dr Benjamin Salk)
Of course we love each other I hear you cry. If it was that simple many more marriages would survive than currently do! Love is an action. We need to see it and feel it, often, in the way that people treat us as well as hearing those three special words.
With the pressures of work, the demands of raising a family and financial stress, a creeping separateness in the form of taking each other for granted can gradually kill the love a couple once felt would last forever.
We don’t talk anymore!
“How come you can spend an hour on the phone to someone from work and yet you find it hard to talk to me for five minutes?”
A lack of communication doesn’t mean not talking about anything. It means not discussing the things that really matter to you. If this sounds familiar the way forward is honesty. Believe that what’s happening between you is not unique. Every intimate relationship has difficult times. Others have been there too and some have rediscovered their love. What many say they need most is not to talk but to have someone really listen to them. We listen best with our eyes, saying “I’m with you” when we give our undivided attention.
Go out with each other again…
Make the effort to “date” each other by having an evening once a week just the two of you. Schedule it into your diary as equally important as your other commitments.
Maybe go out for a meal. Try somewhere new or the place where you met. Have a starter and dessert, skip the expense of a main course.
Meet in the daytime for hot chocolate with marshmallows. Or order an ice-cream, two spoons and share.
Go walking together holding hands. Visit a park and play on the swings. Find a local beauty spot for a picnic lunch, enjoy the togetherness.
Be creative, have fun!
If you’re unable to go out then be creative – have a date night in. Put the children to bed early. Tell your teenagers you’re not to be disturbed and close the door. Cook a favourite meal. Have fun, dress up for dinner, light candles, and share some fine wine in the best glasses.
This Christmas why not try making a card and writing your own verse? It’s not about artistic ability; it’s the thought and effort that counts.
(Adapted from The Sixty Minute Marriage by Rob Parsons.)
If this makes sense to you and you would like to learn more then contact Niki Williams at www.facebook.com/unitedparenting.