Dating for the go getter!

Well this week, I have to admit that I came against a massive obstacle when trying to compose my piece – writer's block. I’d just had a seriously busy week in work and also I’m in the midst of planning a Celebrity Soccer Match and BBQ in aid of the Cork Girls Club which is a voluntary cancer support service.

Now, I’m sure you’ll excuse my slightly fluffy brain during this time as I’m dealing with a team of some ridiculously good looking men and the logistics of getting them to Cork, entertaining them whilst here (ahem) and obviously the event itself. However, during all this (between tanning, waxing and hair appointments pre BBQ), the show must go on!! 

What I did notice about myself during all this planning of such an event is that (much to my fellow committee members' horror) is that I’m quite controlling, assertive and a little bit of a dictator. I suppose that, my reasoning behind this is that I constantly strive for perfection. I don’t believe in failure or not being the best that I can be. Life is not a dress rehearsal, there are no second takes or sequels, so therefore I believe in doing my best each day that I wake up – and I expect the same from others.  And maybe it’s not just in my business, or in planning an event, but in all areas of my life. I’m a go-getter and I always have been. And in certain environments that is acceptable and expected but some people may find that behaviour threatening ie men!

As time has moved on, women have become more and more confident, but like I said last week, there is a fine line between confidence and intimidation. A male friend of mine believes it’s never been a more confusing time to date a woman. When roles reverse and a woman is more confident or as confident as a man, male insecurities are inevitable. He said that he feels men have work to do; they have to embrace the masculinity that the modern feminist has emasculated out of them. Basically, they have to grow a pair!

But as a go-getter female, I don’t really buy into that whole masculinity/femininity jargon. For example, I would or could never play the damsel in distress, weak and fragile girl that I see so many women play today. Sometimes, part of me wishes that I would – only because many men seem to find that trait alluring, but it has never been me and hopefully nor will it ever be. I just find that ‘poor me’ helpless creature act, a little bit desperate – however on the flip side of that – they are generally not single!!  But then they are most likely dating the emasculated ones.

The thing about being a go-getter is that, you very much make your own destiny. As a dear friend Ann always says to me “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me” – which is quite the opposite to “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be”. I do believe that if you want something badly enough, you’ll go out and get it. The downside of being a go-getter when dating, particularly as a female, is that it can be extremely frustrating and discouraging when you can’t have that area of your life as controlled or as perfect  as the rest. And, as a girl who’s used to always getting her own way, it’s quite disheartening not to be able to have what I want! 

But after what has been a very difficult, stressful and exhausting week, I am looking forward to relaxing at the Cork Girls Club Fundraising BBQ, in the company of some very handsome men – and with the way I’m feeling now, I definitely won’t have the energy to be assertive or have the go-getting edge. Instead, I’m willing to sit back, relax and enjoy the evening. Who knows…. maybe this nonchalant attitude will be the best move yet!