Searching for your Valentine?

By Katharine Gray

V stands for Valentine but if your desire is to find a soul mate, then spend the month of February thinking of V for values.

The world tells us that looks, success, money are the important things in a partner. We disagree. When you are searching for someone special to share life with, finding someone who shares your values is essential for a happy relationship.

As Christians, our values are shaped by following Jesus and doing as he did. Christian values don't change - they are the same for all generations and all people.

Let us look at some key Christian values. Foremost is love. Jesus taught us to love God and love others. Are you loving? Do you love others? Is this a value you aspire to? Is it something you'd like to see in a potential partner?

Next there's generosity. This is a core Christian value of being kind and unselfish - especially with our time and money. How do you spend yours? When you meet someone you may be interested in - look how they spend their time and money? Are they generous towards others with it?

Respect is next. It comes from being conscious that God has created all things, all people in his image. In response we respect others and the world we live in.

Then hope. It's a value that plays out in confident expectation and a firm assurance in God.

Then peace. This is found in so many different forms in the bible. Ultimately it is trust in God that leads to rest and tranquillity.

Understanding our Christian values and being able to look for and recognise them in others, before you get into a romantic relationship with them is really important.

Imagine falling in love with a tall, dark, handsome man or a blonde attractive lady, only to discover, perhaps too late, that they are incredibly selfish, mean and disrespecting of others. Would you want to spend your life with them?

Unlike character which rarely changes, values can and do change. It's what the transformation of our lives is all about as followers of Christ. However, it's best to find a soul mate who has several values you want already in place in their lives.

You can see there’s lots to think about. Spending time this month considering these things will be well spent. Doing the thinking in advance will reap great benefits when you find and choose the right person for you.

For more information visit Heavenlypartners.ie or phone 021-2669226.

Katharine Gray is the relationship expert and dating coach from Heavenly Partners, an introduction agency for Christians.