Reach out this Christmas

By Bethan O'Riordan, Cork member of the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy

As winter settles in, it can stir up a mix of emotions. The shorter days, darker evenings, and the rush of holiday preparations can leave us feeling off-balance, both practically and emotionally.

The season brings an influx of family gatherings, changing routines, and a tendency to indulge in rich foods and drinks, things that can feel overwhelming rather than comforting.

However, there are ways to navigate this time and find moments of joy and connection, even when it doesn’t always feel like the ‘most wonderful time of the year’.

Christmas, in particular, can be isolating. For those who find themselves alone or disconnected, it’s easy to feel like the season is more about absence than presence. But there are simple ways to bridge that gap.

Sometimes, just reaching out, whether it's a phone call, a quick video chat, or even a spontaneous visit, can make a huge difference. Local events or community volunteering can also provide a sense of connection, something that’s especially meaningful during this time of year. If traditional celebrations don’t feel right, creating your own rituals can offer a fresh perspective. Maybe it’s a quiet walk to appreciate the Christmas lights or cooking a comforting meal for yourself - small moments that can bring a sense of peace and purpose.

In the midst of all this, it’s important to pause and reflect. Taking the time to recognise what you’re grateful for, no matter how small, can shift your mindset and help you find balance.

And it’s okay to acknowledge feelings of loneliness or isolation, without judgment. If it feels like too much to bear, reaching out to a therapist or counsellor can help you explore those feelings and work through them.

Limits

When it comes to family, the holidays can stir up all sorts of emotions, especially if there are complicated dynamics at play. As much as we might wish for resolutions or peaceful gatherings, it’s not always possible.

But remembering that you are an adult with your own voice and boundaries, can help. If you do choose to spend time with family, it’s okay to set limits on your time. You don’t have to stay longer than feels good for you. And, as much as possible, spend time with those who bring you joy, not those who drain you. It’s about finding your own rhythm within the chaos.

As the year winds down, it’s easy to feel a sense of pressure around the New Year. The expectations of transformation can feel overwhelming.

Instead of setting massive resolutions, I’ve found it helps to focus on small, meaningful changes. Setting realistic goals and celebrating tiny wins along the way can create a sense of progress without the need for drastic shifts.

I’m conscious of not sounding all doom and gloom. Winter is a wonderful time for hibernation and a slower pace of life. Nature can offer us the most beautiful seasonal changes and you won’t go wrong taking a walk in that crisp and invigorating air. Also have a think about this - outside of phones, screens, work, running a home and kids, have you got a hobby? What did you do as a child for a hobby? Can you start this again? So many adults I meet have lost the art of their passions, and this is a great time of year to rediscover them again.

Balance

With all the festive indulgence that comes with the season, it’s important to strike a balance. I know in Cork there are so many wonderful local food and drink options, and it’s easy to get swept up in the joy of it all. But tuning into your body and how you feel after indulging can make a big difference. Hydrating alongside those festive drinks, for instance, can help keep things in balance and prevent any next-day regrets.

If there’s one thing I’d love to say about winter wellbeing it’s this; whatever you feel, whatever you need, it’s okay. Whether you love Christmas, have the jumper and movies on stand-by, or if this time of year is hard for you that’s okay too. You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.

And if you find yourself feeling lonely or disconnected, reach out to someone who can help. I will certainly not be impervious to homesickness this year as my family celebrate in Scotland and me here in Cork.